Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I'm Falling Apart

No, this isn't an emo post about spiraling into a depression (maybe another time). Right now I mean literally my body is falling apart. It likes to do this to me every couple of months, where everything likes to go wrong at once. No, I'm not dying, yes, it could be worse, but this is MY blog and I can complain about whatever I want.

First, I woke up on Saturday with a weird pain in my finger. Nothing terrible, but I look down and it's an odd red bump. Not a cut, just a bump. I decided to assume it was a spider bite, but that's up for debate. It kind of looks like a pimple. ON MY FINGER.

So my fingers aren't swollen or misshapen as this drawing may lead you to believe, that is just my poor abilities in MS Paint. It's just an annoying and sore red bump. It isn't getting any bigger (or smaller). So I'm going to go with spider bite (from above evil looking spider) and hope it resolves itself. At this point, a doctor has not been consulted.

Issue number two is a very annoying twitchy eye. Now, I've gotten these before from time to time, but this one has been with me for over 2 weeks, and that is starting to get a little out of hand. I've lessened my caffeine intake, tried to get more sleep... still twitchy. I've now taken out my contacts and resorted to wearing my broken glasses. I was twitch free for the morning, but it has started up again.

I'm not sure how to represent a twitchy eye via MSPaint, so a squiggly will have to do. My friend suggested potassium, which I've tried before and doesn't work. Maybe it's all in my head. Maybe it's stress... but you know what, I don't like bananas!

Yeah, me and my poor eye, getting chased around by a giant banana. Perhaps I could scare him away with my red spider-bite finger? No doctor has been consulted about the twitchy eye yet. It seems silly, what are they going to do, give me a muscle relaxer? It certainly would make my work day a little more interesting.

Issue number three is my knee, which can best be described as "lumpy." It doesn't hurt, it's just weirdly swollen.

Ok, it's a little sore, but not bad. Anyway, a doctor HAS been consulted about this one. I know what it is, all proper precautions are being taken, but it's still just plain annoying. Lump-knee decides to come back occasionally and irritate me when I'm trying to do things like go to the gym. I already do knee friendly exercises, what else does it want?

It's possible I'm headed to a total systems shut down

Ok, no, that's just the robot version of me. I'm fine, just slightly annoyed. So pretty much I'll just sit around and whine. On MY blog. Mwahahaha.

I've even added some other issues worth whining about!!

Stupid spider.

Monday, January 30, 2012

Birdhouse In Your Soul

So this song has been stuck in my head ALL weekend.

Sigh, drawing it out didn't work. It's still in my head. Oh well, it could be worse. I don't want to think of songs that could be worse to have in my head, because then they'll be in my head and I'll be all "why, why, WHY isn't it They Might Be Giants?!"

And I will have no one to blame but myself.

Here's the song for anyone who doesn't know it. It's pretty catchy, I warn you.

Friday, January 27, 2012

Because I work HARD.

I am pleased to have new fans (thanks to People I Want to Punch in the Throat), and one of them actually MENTIONED me on her blog. I mean, that's pretty exciting. So, to honor her (and since I REALLY didn't feel like being productive work-wise today) I illustrated her day as a nurse-in-training, and her first day in a clinical psych ward. For the text of her experience, check out her blog, Hamsters Fighting Over the Wheel. Learn what it's like in the day to day life of a mother, student, and someone who generally has a lot on her plate! Hopefully these drawings make the fact that your Friday is not a Friday a little better?

So, apparently she was nervous. I would be too. But that's only reason #29508436 I would never go into a medical/nursing profession.

Though it would be pretty cool to be important enough to have an ID badge, especially one that says "not crazy." Not sure I'd qualify for that one. It reminds me of this:


I suppose these things start with a general who's who and what's what of the area... which she describes as going smoothly.

I don't know what a CODE cart is.... so I figured an emergency box 'o supplies would be a good thing to have around. Also, forgive me if it's not politically correct to refer to a patient as "this crazy guy."

They had awkward social time. That was easy to illustrate. I KNOW awkward social time. I can have those outside of a clinical experience!

Then apparently NCIS was on TV, which provided conversation fodder between her and the patients. We all like NCIS. Personally, I prefer Law and Order: SVU, but when I'm at the gym, it's only on Tuesdays. Most other days are NCIS, which I've come to sort of enjoy... and there's the awful days when it's...::shudder:: Burn Notice. BLEH.


Have you ever seen NCIS? If you have this might be amusing. Might. I'm not making any promises.

And finally, her long day at the end, she retreats (quickly) into the sunset, leaving nothing but a trail of dust and a thousand memories behind her.



THE END

Hungry Friday

I am very glad today is Friday. It has been a long week.

At the moment, I am also very hungry, and could certainly use some cookies.

Then again, I could always use some cookies.


There is no such thing as the veggie monster. Also, Pluto is a planet. Also, I fear change.


(FRIDAY!)

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Go to the Dentist.

I, unfortunately, had a dentist appointment this morning.  I had put off going to the dentist for a long time, knowing the longer I waited the worse it was going to be. I mean, generally I take care of my teeth. But I drink coffee. I eat candy. I floss.. only... somewhat regularly. My biggest concern was actually the fact that I still have two baby teeth (it's genetic, they don't have permanent teeth under them so THEY'LL NEVER GO AWAY). They used to serve me just fine

But after many years of wear and tear, they have seen better days.

They don't hurt or anything. They're just pretty worn. My other concern was this wisdom tooth that just sort of popped up out of nowhere. I was told when I was younger that I didn't HAVE them... well, apparently four sprouted up. They're not really doing anything except this one, that came in. He's just chillin' there, minding his own business... not impacted, not hurting. Dentist wants to remove him because he's "hard to maintain," but I digress. My main point was these things should have been the least of my worries, because apparently my biggest issue is I had tons of little cavities. "Nothing serious," but enough that I needed to get a lot of "preventative" fillings, the first session of which was today.

This is how I feel like today went

...I may have imagined most of that. I'd say this is more realistic as to how the appointment went

It was fine. There was lots of Novocaine involved and some whining on my part, but overall it was fine. I did have to return to work, however, at which point I looked something like this

Have you ever had an eye go numb? It's very.... disconcerting. Also, apparently I sound very amusing and am not taken seriously at all in meetings when I talk with a lisp.

Oh well. Onward and upwards!

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

In With the New!

I actually put a link to my blog on someone else's blog. It's terrifying. Now more people besides my sister might look at my horrible/weird paint pictures and judge me for them.

Oh well, I stand proudly in defense of my blog... like so:
My blog DOES glow, it's probably just too bright where you are to see it.

MS Paint is a great way to entertain myself in an otherwise (relatively) boring office job. Some posts don't make sense, some posts are frustrating rantings from an office drone, and a lot of posts are cat related. If you're here, and new, hopefully you find it mildly entertaining. If not, I hope I didn't take too much time away from other, more interesting, internet surfing you can do. I suggest: http://www.fantasticcontraption.com/. Thanks for coming, anyway!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Famous Art-My Versions in MS Paint

Depending on how you define effort, some of these I put more effort into than others. It was still fun.

Let's start with Pollock, who is really hard to do in MS Paint, due to the lack of a paint blot feature.


I found the spray paint feature was my best option. While doing this, I remembered a site online where you can create your own Pollock-style paintings, which I highly suggest in times of boredom: http://jacksonpollock.org/ Here is my web based creation:


My next project was the iconic Mona Lisa. I started in my usual stick figure style, but Mona started looking a little like skeletor, so I started filling her out. You can really see the remnants of skeletor in her secretive smile and bony posture.

My most difficult subject was Mondrian. His intense colors and complicated patterns made it hard to replicate, especially in MS Paint, but here's my best effort:


Despite it being mass produced, Starry Night by Van Gogh is one of my favorite paintings, but one of the ones I was most reluctant to try and replicate with MS Paint. I don't think I'm fooling myself that the Mona Lisa would be mistaken for the original anyway, so I went for it.


You get the general idea. I kind o tired out around the houses. I made all the shapes and then started filling in the fake brush strokes, and man is that boring.

So I embraced the fact that I can't do "brush strokes" as I want to in MS Paint, and went for The Scream by Munch, which also involves some annoying impressionist style brush-stroking.


I gave in a little and added some color variety to my blocks. But there's a lot of uninterrupted orange. Hey, at least I didn't draw the scream-figure like so:


Yeah, I could have. I guess I just did. DON'T THINK THIS IS THE LAST YOU'LL SEE OF THIS.

Monday, January 23, 2012

Killer Breakfast

I don't know where this came from, but here it is.

I do know if I ever have the materials, I'm making this egg-monster for someone. I don't know, drape a sunny side up egg over a biscuit, slap on some bacon arms, and draw the angry face in ketchup? Or with pepper?

When googling egg-monster, it didn't yield very many impressive results that were actually made out of food. I did find this, which looks tasty:



It has the same sort of dripping maw, so I may have to edit my monster to add spinach?

Not bad, not bad. Ketchup would have a drippier effect though.
I think I'm putting too much thought into this.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Love/Hate relationship with the IT department

I don't consider myself computer illiterate, but I certainly don't know that much. I'm also prone to very stupid mistakes. This can lead to some frustrating interactions with IT, where, while I remember the best solution is often to restart, sometimes I just don't notice that particular part was not plugged in.

This morning, after a very impatient waiting period to get our new, much needed printer, it seemed that the 30 or so double sided forms I needed to print for my bosses were going to have to be hand turned/reorganized after each form, because despite specifications, the new printer could not auto-duplex. Now, before going raging to IT, I checked all the printer settings I could find on the computer with no luck at a "switch to auto" option. I also did not rage AT the IT guy when I couldn't find said auto-duplex option, I sent a friendly email saying "hey, it isn't auto duplexing, am I missing a setting, or does this printer... not... do.. that?" (panicky subtext). I did rage at coworkers ABOUT the IT guy though. Yeah, I admit it. In the end, the printer had to be restarted (something something) it wasn't auto set to duplex (something something) some settings had to be fixed on the printer itself (something something) (??). I don't know. The printer did what we asked for it to do, just not automatically when it was set up. I thanked IT guy profusely, then admitted my mistake to my coworkers, and genuinely felt bad about the aforementioned raging regarding the IT guy's competence. So I figured, as reparations, I would illustrate some of my more loving and hating moments with the IT department. It does not reflect very positively on my computer skills.

Yeah. It has happened. Well, not the quote. I was more just stupid enough to knock coffee on it. It still worked after, the keyboard was just a little sticky.

Ah, I remember the day I got this monitor. It was a good day.

It WAS plugged in (to the power strip).

Our server is slow. Having shortcuts to things IS a blessing.

Ok, I've never ACTUALLY set my computer on fire, even if I've threatened to. When the power goes out it often IS a disaster for our system... not that it's IT's fault...exactly...

In all fairness, I did NOT purposely click on a pop up to get a virus. It was one of those pop ups that has the fake X in the corner that LOOKS like it can be used to X out, but it actually part of the pop up itself. Nothing but my computer was saved, though I didn't have anything on it, really. I also got new windows and photoshop, so it turned out for the better.

Anyway, I love my computer most of all, so I have to be nice to the IT guy, no matter what.


....and he is a nice guy, even if I get frustrated.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Portals

Here is a short series of drawings of animals going through portals.

Check it out. It totally IS a bird going through a portal. Then I thought I'd make my portals more true to life, like video games.

Yes, it's definitely a wart hog travelling through Portal's portals. I know, the portal isn't really taking them anywhere. So how about this?


How's THAT for an amazing animal-going-through-portal-obstacle course? I know you're impressed, even if my lemmings look like guinea pigs.


Truthfully, I always thought lemmings were bird-like. I can't say I've ever had a cause to look up any information on them. The more you know! This is why the internet is so important. So we can learn more about lemmings.

https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/

Put your name down against SOPA. My blog doesn't have quite the readership necessary to warrant a "blackout" but there's my support all the same.