Friday, July 29, 2011

HTML Take Two

Considering how proud I was of my HTML efforts yesterday, it has certainly all come crashing and burning.


Yes. For an unknown reason my previously successful anchors just stopped working, with no errors I (or other people better versed in computer lingo) could find. I've been off and on the phone with the IT department all day trying to get it figured out, and am still no closer to a working document. ANGER.


Sigh, just trying to remember I had a fun evening last night seeing the Reel Big Fish in concert. I've never seen them live before, and it was great. It went something like this...


...ok, maybe a little less threatening.

But still, all in all, quite enjoyable!

Thursday, July 28, 2011

HTML MASTER

So I don't have a ton of time today, I'm stuck working on our wordpress site which is really time consuming. At the same time, it's very empowering as I am one of two people in my building who can actually function with this program, so I was left to my own devices to figure out how to anchor something in the text.


And guess what.


I DID IT.



F Yeah I did it. Manipulating the HTML code and all.

I AM THE ANCHOR MASTER!

It kind of makes me want to run around the office singing this...


But somehow I don't think my bosses would like it. Alas, I must be content to mentally congratulate myself repeatedly.



(THIS IS AN ANCHOR!)

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

The Young and the Bruised

I bruise REALLY easily. I feel like it goes in phases, where sometimes, all of a sudden, a whole bunch of little bruises will show up, and I will have no idea where they came from. Occasionally, I will get a large and awful looking bruise, and have no idea where it came from, or have a vague recollection of bumping in to a wall at some point. It's kind of like... I go to bed one night, and wake up the next day riddled with evidence of an unknown adventure.

Ok, so I know raptor arm was probably from the gym. And the bruise on my right arm is from where they took blood (partially to test WHY I am bruising so much, apparently nothing is wrong with me and I have to suck it up?). Oh and I do know the one on my foot is from a pair of sandals. But still... this leaves a good 8-10 bruises of no known origin, the most annoying one being on my chin (yes, my chin?). I have come up with some theories.

Epic battle with a feather?


You know the battle is epic because I'm wearing my fighting helmet and using a scimitar. No dirk for me. Or epee. Or any of those other swords/daggers/sharp objects you can equip in video games. I know it has to have been a feather, because anything else clearly would have killed me.

Perhaps a rambunctious child is to blame?


I SWEAR I was not making weird faces at him. This is just what my face looks like naturally. I bet he bruised my chin with his air-pushing-pointy-finger.

I wish being bruised up was the result of something cool, like some radical spy mission.


Alas, no, I have not been jumping off buildings. Apparently my day to day life of inept walking, clumsiness, and angering children is much more dangerous than I have previously thought. Maybe I need to live in a bubble?

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Dino-Threats

I am more tired than usual today. Too tired to make MS Paint drawings. I know, I'm surprised too. Sort of. To try and keep my brain from melting, I ended up doodling on a notepad while reviewing my emails this morning... so that's what you've got for today.

I drew this raptor with a friend in mind. We go on raptor walks together. RAWR. Raptor demands good days, and destruction.


Upon viewing the awesomeness that was my raptor, I drew another dinosaur for a different friend who has been having many car (and mechanic) troubles lately.


Watch out, the brontosaurus means business. Leafy business.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Warning Labels

**This post may spoil parts of the book "The Knife of Never Letting Go" by Patrick Ness. If you intend to read the book, be aware of this. Here's a summary (off amazon.com) to further buffer things:

Chased by a madman preacher and possibly the rest of his townsfolk as well, young Todd Hewitt flees his settlement on a planet where war with the natives has killed all the women and infected the men with a germ that broadcasts their thoughts aloud for all to hear. This cacophonous thought-cloud is known as Noise and is rendered with startling effectiveness on the page. The first of many secrets is revealed when Todd discovers an unsettling hole in the Noise, and quickly realizes that he lives in a much different world than the one he thought he did. Some of the central conceits of the drama can be hard to swallow, but the pure inventiveness and excitement of the telling more than make up for it. Narrated in a sort of pidgin English with crack dramatic and comic timing by Todd and featuring one of the finest talking-dog characters anywhere, this troubling, unforgettable opener to the Chaos Walking trilogy is a penetrating look at the ways in which we reveal ourselves to one another, and what it takes to be a man in a society gone horribly wrong. The cliffhanger ending is as effective as a shot to the gut.  --Ian Chipman **


Everything comes with warnings. Coffee warns you that it's hot. Cigarettes warn you they can kill you. Electric fences warn you they're electrified. One thing I would like to be warned about, but never am, is when an animal dies in a book or movie. Especially and awesome, loyal animal.

These things never come with warning labels, and I am often unhappily surprised. Like "Where the Red Fern Grows" and "Turner and Hooch" and now, "The Knife of Never Letting Go." It certainly satisfied my craving for young adult fiction, and it was good enough that I finished it in a 24 hour period... but... but... Manchee. A doggie. They don't say what kind, but I picture this:

Well, that's SUPPOSED to be a yellow lab. He's definitely yellow lab-like. Oh, and in the world of the book, he can talk.


Sigh. It's a three book series, so I really thought he would make it through the first one. But WHAM. Sacrifices himself to save his master, the protagonist. It was awful. It's one of those situations where you wish everyone except the dog had died. Well, ok, not that bad, but I wanted the dog to live. I mean, the dog in the Gone series has made it through 4 or 5 books now! Granted, in that one his master has healing powers, but still.

Anyway, this post is in honor of Manchee, a fictional dog who tugged at my heartstrings. Here's some Manchee dialogue:
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/manchee

Oh, I would also avoid extensively googling "Manchee." Apparently a guy by that name does some nude photography of himself.

Friday, July 22, 2011

For Fashion!

Occasionally, I can be girly. Very occasionally. This time, the focus was my feet. I decided to paint my toe nails, which is EXTREMELY unusual for me. So paint them I did, with the plan to show off their awesome purple-ness with sandals the following day.

It is difficult to draw nail polish on a stick figure, mind you. Now, it IS unusual for me to wear sandals, so I came prepared with sneakers "just in case" they irritated my feet too much. The day started well. Outfit? Fantastic. Nail polish? Made the outfit. Feet? Hurt a little.


I was about halfway to an appointment when my feet started to feel unpleasant. Usually I power through the pain and stick a bandaid on until some kind of callus forms... but this time the sandals were really slicing into my feet. For a while, I was determined.

The sword shows the level of my determination. Long story short, I gave up. The pain was too much. My cute outfit was ruined by the comfortable sneakers, but I got to keep my feet. Sigh.


So it goes. Some females are more tolerant than others about sacrificing comfort for a cute outfit, but I'd rather cope with the sneakers that look a little out of place. In case you think I'm exaggerating, which I am, here is the end result on the evil sandals:


So yeah, I wasn't walking in a pool of blood, but it was still some hefty damage to my feet. Sigh, at least my unseen nail polish still looks cute, minus the bandages...

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Bacon Makes the World Go Round

I do love bacon. It is delicious, unhealthy, and generally awesome. I needed to immortalize my love of bacon:

It is. You can put bacon on almost any food and it increases it's deliciousness exponentially. It makes me wonder, what else could bacon improve?


It is the ultimate in bacon fashion. Not only does it look great, but your new odor will attract man and beast alike!

We all know war is terrible. Rather than wage war with weaponry, why don't we fight the war on hunger the BACON BOMBS (TM). Each explosion is one of deliciousness!


Now this is a real crowd pleaser. Not only is the camera itself visually beautified by bacon, but it will add bacon to any picture you take. Please note the tasteful addition of the bacon hat, bacon mustache, and bacon earring.


Last but not least, for those of you looking for ways to bacon-up your love life, please see the line of bacon lingerie. It's the best way to a man's heart.

Anyway, live, love, and eat bacon. Wooo!

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Early wake up and no sleep make jschro something something

So. Tired.

Got big coffee.

Now?

A venti quad iced skinny caramel macchiato will only last so long, though.

As I feel possible death (by sleepiness?) and/or unemployment looming over me, I scrape together some energy to start the vicious cycle again.


Apparently sleepy me drools a lot.

Sexy ;)

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

100 posts!

This post has nothing to do with the fact that it is #100. In fact, the only reason I titled it as such is because this post has no meaning whatsoever, and I couldn't come up with anything better. I just started drawing. So... enjoy?


You can debate the hawk's excellence all you want. He knows he's cool. Additionally, have you ever had a hawk poop on your car? I've seen it, I don't recommend getting on this guy's bad side.


I told my workstudy student that I felt as if I always drew the same animals, and asked her to name one. Thus, my grey blob of a manatee was born. He isn't anything special. I've told people in jest (sort of) that I want to name my future children something like "Average" or "Satisfactory." "Is Satisfactory Smith here today?" "Average Johnson, please come up to the board." Mwahahaha.

Last but not least, though he certainly is the least fortunate. I'm not sure how a giraffe would go about making money, but clearly this one is sad about his financial standing. It's ok little buddy, I'm here for you.


Anyway, Tuesday. Yeah.

Monday, July 18, 2011

The Museum of SCIENCE

On Saturday, I went to the Museum of Science for the first time. People seem to find this surprising, but really, it's ALL the way down the green line. I have trouble T-ing it to work every day. Anyway, it has been on my to do list for a long time, and I finally did it. It. Was. Freakin'. Awesome. Talk about over stimulation!

I know it's educational and stuff, but you can PLAY with things! It is amazing! I spent most of my time frolicking around like a small child, or raptor-walking through the dinosaur exhibit. Ok... I wasn't that bad, but it's how I felt. By far, my favorite part was the various animal displays, real and fake. They had models of many animals behind glass. Beavers, Moose, Deer, AND BEARS.


Holycrapbears! That was nothing compared to the fact that while in the fake animal display area, they put on a LIVE animal show. That's right, a living, breathing, fuzzy creature not 20 feet away from me.

A teeny tiny screech owl was the animal guest. I was NOT the one to ask if we could pet the owl... a small child in the audience did, but I was certainly thinking it.

The special exhibit this time was about dinosaurs. You could actually touch fossils, which was pretty neat. Oh, and apparently almost all the spikes and whatnot people had thought were for defense/attack on dinosaurs, were actually used to attract potential mates. Pretty much every display said something like "for a while, we thought these large spikes on the stegosaurus were for defensive purposes. Recent evidence suggests, however, they they were thin and colorful, and would not be very useful for defense, and rather were used to attract others." Apparently dinos were very horny. Anyway, for the most part you couldn't touch, or take pictures, so I had to leave it to my imagination.


Alas, maybe next time I will ride the TRex.


All praise to SCIENCE!

Friday, July 15, 2011

The Beast of Unbeatable Cuteness

So a friend and loyal blog reader asked me last night if I would draw the scenario in which Katsa and Lolly meet. I am all for suggestions, but it does have to inspire me to something. After thinking about it, I decided that Lolly and Katsa can NEVER meet. Both animals must exist on their own separate planes of cuteness.

Should they ever encounter one another, the gravitational pull of their incredible cuteness combined would draw one toward the other, an impending collision of cute!


And then, I think we all know what would happen...


A creature would be born... a creature whose appeal and cuteness could not be resisted. All mankind would be doomed.


DOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

I am a raptor! Eeearrrggghh!

So my weak attempts at weight lifting have left me gimpy in one arm. It hurts to extend it. As a consequence I've been stalking around the office like a raptor all day.

Clearly, if one arm is stuck in raptor shape, I should just go whole hog and start destroying tiny cities I made out of paper.... and making raptor noises. I think it makes the arm pain more bearable. I'm picturing this:


The tail and fang are important additions. I have a friend who has a video of her baby making a perfect impression of the raptor noise in my head, but I don't think she'd be too keen on me posting a picture of her baby on my blog (despite its awesomeness). You'll just have to imagine whatever raptor noises suit you best.

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Not So Super Heroes

In honor of all the summer blockbusters this year, I decided to name some lesser known heroes.

These folks work tirelessly every day for their own benefit.

Inaction Man is sleepy, but we all know how much more sound sleep is in a cape.


I know, I know, the bird is scary. I don't blame him, really.


You know, she may be a hero to some?


I'm sure he's swarming with disease.


Who wouldn't want help from That Guy? I'm not sure what he does, but I'm sure it's average and satisfactory.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Weeks are too long, weekends are too short.

In honor of this weekend, I have drawn a monkey.

Additionally, I drew a seal swimming upside down. Did you know they did that? Well, they do.


The other one is waving. Hello, seal!

Just to further muddle the issue, I have drawn myself, excited over the purchase of two gap pants for $20.


That's right, two pairs of pants for only $20!

Me and my new pants say happy Monday.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Call the Exterminator!

So we've been having a bug issue at work. I mean, not terrible swarms or anything, but still unpleasant. I solved the mouse issue in my apartment a while ago, so I would have liked to be pest free, but what can you do? I was the lucky one to discover the first one. I was relaxing at lunch in a coworker's office when something fell from the ceiling. Can you guess what that something was?

Yeah, bug to ceiling to me. It was unpleasant. I was itchy all day after. Today, my coworker was ambushed at her desk.


It's her dog's birthday. Happy birthday Roxy. I mean, what's next? WHAT WILL WE HAVE TO SUFFER?


I'm a slow runner, so he got me first.