Friday, February 25, 2011

Another week, come and gone.

It is raining today, so I went aquatic.

Is it bad that I had to redraw it twice to ensure the correct number of legs? I should have just gone with this...


Cats hate water, but Quadropuss is rather fond of it, especially due to the overabundance of fishies.

Happy Friday!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

RECYCLE, HISSS

My new recycling ad campaign:

Sisterly Love

I have a sister. We get along, now. She lives in San Francisco on top an abominable hill, likes dogs, and does lawyer-y things, but does not get to use the term "aquitard" very frequently (which, from what I know, is the ONLY benefit to being a lawyer...) Oh well, she should work with water law more. This is her:
Please note the person falling off her hill. Also--the cool hat.

Now, we like to do things like be vikings--we go sailing places in a dragon boat, pillage villages while running around with weaponry. It's pretty awesome.


When we were little, things were less friendly. She once told me she was going to hide in my closet in stab me in my sleep.


True story. I still haven't gotten over it.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Celebrate!

The Grumpus

Last night I was called a Grumpus. I took particular offense to this, as when I hear Grumpus, I picture an animal like this

I believe the Grumpus is usually found in two varieties. For some reason, people like to keep him as a pet, perhaps to keep the house environment generally bitter, with a background growling noise. This is the Domestic Grumpus.

I warn you, the domestic Grumpus will probable not be fond of his collar. Or your house. Or of being tied to a pole. The domestic Grumpus isn't really fond of anything. Another variety of Grumpus is the wild Grumpus.

The Grumpus doesn't like that tree, either.

An attempt at mollification: I was called a "hot and sexy grumpus." This didn't really help things, as I don't think the Grumpus is capable of being hot and sexy, no matter how hard he tries.


Look at those radiating lines of sexiness... does the Grumpus look any happier? No, I don't think so.

Really, the Grumpus is mostly content being the Grumpus, without any frills. So,


I would imagine at such an event, you could play some pretty awesome games, like
No, no, the Grumpus would not be too keen on that, I believe.


I don't think he's really fond of that pink ribbon either...

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Tuesday Masquerading as a Monday

It was a good long weekend. This week quality is yet unknown. Some good news, the weekend highlighted that my super-neurotic cat has warmed up to me, slightly. I had a visitor come for the weekend, and Spartacus' dislike of the house guest was pretty evident.

At this point, when I approach him, I usually get a wary look...

(I think the black and white one looks better, but the filled in one is his actual coloring...) Usually this looks means "Are you walking by, or are you going to try and pet me? You know I will run if you try and pet me..." This usually results in him skittering off somewhere else in the apartment and watching me warily again.

When my guest, arrived, however, Spart, realizing I was in the apartment and not at the door, bolted for his nearest known hiding place (at this point it's between my oven and kitchen wall)


After being approached by guest in this hiding place and realizing it was not secure, Spart endeavored to find harder to reach hiding places where he could safely bide his time. His ability to squeeze himself into tight spots was fairly impressive. First, he wedged himself behind my fridge, then, in the tiny space behind my bookshelf.


Now, we more or less left him alone, but guest's presence in my apartment clearly disturbed Spart. I didn't realize this until afterwards, but I believe guest's belongings taking up space on the couch was particularly offensive to the cat. I'm not sure if it's because Spart is used to my mess lying around (where guest has tidier habits), or if he simply didn't like foreign objects, but he clearly disliked the arrangement.


 Now, Spart does not normally spend time on the couch, so I didn't think this would be such an inconvenience. Upon guest's departure, however, Spart made it clear that a spot on the couch should be kept clear for him. A couple of times throughout the evening he would jump up on the couch, sit where guest's things were, look at me for about 5 minutes, and get back down and return to his usual sitting spot. I told guest that Spart missed him.

(I don't think Spartacus actually missed him).

I sense I was forgiven as Spart seemed to enjoy himself when I forced him to submit to being petted. After the initial wary look, he realized I was, in fact, intending to pet him, so he retreated to his spot between the stove and the wall. After an initial hiss, he was loving the head scratches. I dunno, at least he hasn't retreated behind the fridge/bookshelf again.
On a less interesting (to me) not cat related note, I've identified three of my running styles this weekend, which show you why, for the most part, I should not run places... ever.



All running must be made with appropriate sound effect.

End Communication.

Friday, February 18, 2011

In honorem

Since she made my previous post public, I decided to make another picture for my friend who is incapacitated almost as often as I am. Though her current issues consist of the cornea thing and a taped foot (which I haven't asked her about, though I assume it's a truly thrilling story), she is no stranger to things like getting hit by cabs, or having her back stretched on some kind of medieval torture device (I can only assume).

So this is what I imagine she'd be like as an economist in London.

Clearly I have not been across the ocean very often, but I'd like to imagine people there where monocles and top hats. Well, I'd like to imagine people everywhere wearing monocles and top hats.

Anyway, in a less personal referenced drawing, my office building is rather empty today and I am feeling lonely (-->more drawings later? maybe) so I came up with this


There are a lot of squirrels around here, and they're pretty awesome, though also probably rabid and dangerous. Awesomely rabid and dangerous? Maybe.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

On Eye Patches

You know, generally I am a fan of monocles over eye patches. A friend informed me she has a "hole in her cornea" (shudder, I don't do well with eye related issues), she seems glad she does not have to wear an eye patch, but I think it would be rather dashing. Plus, she's an economist, so I'd imagine her eye patched work day would go something like this

I mean, that's the kind of stuff economists do, right? Chase stray numbers around? I don't know, maybe she'd be better off with the monocle. Next time, next time.

Also, on an unrelated note


Deer give good advice, right? Maybe, if it's about headlight quality.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Something more inspiring...

Since my lasts post have been rather bitter and angry regarding this season of love... in the spirit of cheap-post-valentines day-candy, here is something a little happier.

May you not think of the sexual logistics of such a match.

Oops....

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Like that egg that broke in your grocery bag

Romance isn't all it's cracked up to be.


HAHAHAHA!

Here's something fun for you.

 Also, beards are gross.

See this.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Happy Valentine's Day.

This is the mood I'm in.

I thought my dead squirrel was pretty well done.

You know, the mood is not even Valentine's Day related. I think I'm just feeling generally disgruntled.

At least I don't have to wear a party hat.

Also, I've eaten too many poptarts today, and I feel kind of sick... YET STILL WANT MOAR.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

I don't like fruit

I think this post started with me thinking I should probably draw something besides animals, and acknowledging I do not like to draw people. I'm not sure if anyone else would conclude fruit was the way to go, but that's what I ended up with. As I began, my tendency was to draw the fruit as angry/old/meanspirited/etc... generally possessing qualities I don't like. I've decided this is because I generally don't like to eat fruit, and thus if I were to imagine one walking and talking, I'd imagine it to be someone who I have generally similar feelings towards. Though in reality, that might be balanced by the fact that I was looking at a walking/talking fruit, which would be a veritable gold mine.
In this case, the orange is stupid and tells bad jokes, and the bananas are clearly part of a malicious clique. Clearly. So I tried a fruit I like better, and came up with this


Then I felt bad for the old grumpy apple....


I like raspberries too, but their seeds kind of get to me. I don't picture tham with particularly good personalities though...

Finally, no fruit montage would be complete with out the obligatory Rogue quote:


(For those of you who don't know, Rogue is a pretty awesome DOS game...) Anyway, fruit sucks. Maybe next time I'll draw a happy cake.


On an unrelated note, a coworker was telling me about the new tattoo she wants, so I gifted her with my rendition of it. I'd be honored to needle this into my skin:

Right? Right. Maybe on my butt.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Fluffy Animals

I am more tired than usual today. I am usually tired, but today, man, it's bad. It's probably because I know I have class tonight, so my brain says "oh, I have to be active longer than normal today? activating SUPER TIRED MODE!"

When I was thinking 'hm, what shall I post today?', the answer of course was something fluffy to sleep on, which led to sheep, which have the dual purpose of being fluffy to sleep on, and a falling asleep trick (you know, counting sheep...). Though I really would not like to fall asleep on a sheep, they smell pretty awful, and are one of the dumbest farm animals (which is pretty dumb if you bother to think about the average farm animal intelligence). When in New Zealand (note: sheep out-number people something like 4 to 1) I was on a canyon tour, and they had to repeatedly warn us that the sheep from the pastures above had the tendency to just... wander over the edges. It led to some messy sheep related mishaps.

Anyway, sheep:

Yeah, I know, they're pretty awesome.

Thoughts of fluffy sheep led to bunnies, which are also generally considered cute and fluffy. I have a bias when it comes to bunnies, so my cute and fluffy bunny turned into this:


I actually owned a rabbit, falling victim to the myth of cute-and-fluffyness. Her full name was "Grand Master B" (points if you're part of the .01% of the population who knows what that's from). I called her bunny, for the most part. Let me tell you, she was pure evil. Perhaps you can tell from my post about Spartacus, but my luck with pets is... non-existent. She was also part of a small minority of bunnies that have a tooth issue, where their teeth don't grind down on their own, so if not manually trimmed, they will grow and grow and grow (bunnicula much?). Anyway, besides hating me and being pure evil, she also had fangs.

Here is my rendition of her:



Don't let the ears fool you, she'd kill you if she got the chance.

Friends don't let friends own evil rabbits.

Also, I've decided to put this link in my facebook profile. If you've found it, good for you, and I'm sorry in advance.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Eternal Monday

Today is one of those days that is not Monday, but feels like a Monday. I have a feeling this week is going to crawl by very slowly. This got me to thinking of speeding up the week, and through a convoluted thought process, ended with imagining a lion on wheels. Wouldn't that be awesome?

If it were a lion on wheels that cut me off on the highway, I think I would be less likely to flip him off. Possibly because he would eat me.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Today, instead of work, I am thinking about...

Possums. Possibly because a friend sent me a picture of a possum he found hiding out in his trashcan a little while ago, and I keep referring back to it in my mind as a source of amusement. So today, there is a picture of an awesome possum.

I realize possums in general aren't particularly awesome (especially when you happen upon one hiding in your trashcan) so here is my more realistic possum portrayal.


Crazy possum, dear sir, you had me upon first rawr.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Spartacat

So, surprisingly, the girl who likes to post weird pictures she draws on the Internet ALSO really likes cats. A little too sane to be a "cat-lady," but pretty damn close. In fact, if you had asked me when I was 4 what I wanted to be when I grew up, I probably would have told you I wanted to BE a cat. Reality set in, and owning a cat became one of my greatest goals.

Around college, I came up with a great name for my future cat... Spartacus. A great name, true, worthy of a heroic cat-defender...

Though I realize that cats have a tendency not to care what you name them/what you want, nor do I think one would be particularly fond of being dressed up like so, so I knew Spartacus was more likely to be like this
But that was fine by me.

In my mid 20's and with a steady job, I finally decided to purchase my future Spartacus.

He was not quite the cat I envisioned. In the shelter, he was as sweet as pie, and clearly took a shine to me. When he got home, however, he turned into a different cat altogether. Now, I assume the abrupt change in environment had something to do with it, so I left him alone to adjust. But a week or so in to it, our interactions would go something like:

I approach...

I offer various delicious options

I assume he might be placated by my offer and allow me to pet him...but...

After talking to the shelter, seeing if there was anything I could do to make him more comfortable, they said I should try to break through his hissing reaction and pet him anyway (covered by a blanket or something), in order to show him I meant no harm.

Now our interactions go something like this

As soon as I take my hand away, however, we're back to square one. It remains to be seen whether this method of force petting will prove effective. In the mean time, I should just be glad I've obtained a cat as quirky as myself....


In the beginning...

I haven't decided if I am going to give this address to anyone, so if you've found it on your own, bravo. My penchant for making ridiculous pictures in MS paint has inspired me to post them up, with hopes someone will recognize my lack of talent and revoke my access to the program. Or maybe find amusement in it and give me cookies.

Everyone likes cookies.

You know, last time I tried to create a blog when I was about 13, it involved toasters as well. I think I called it "The magical flying toaster of happiness"... I'm not quite sure what the deal with me and toasters is. Though I'd imagine that toaster would look something like this:

Also, the happiness part came from a forward that was going around at the time, the enchanted banana of happiness. Just giving credit where credit is due. Those toaster drawings are all mine though.

I think I'm going to go get a cookie.